Test your heart

“…How heavy is the Qur’an upon the immoral fasiq, and how heavy is worship and prayer upon the immoral fasiq hypocrite! The prayer is so heavy upon these hypocrites! You see him sitting and writing in a diary for one, two, or three hours, or standing and talking for one, two, or three hours, and if he stands behind the imam for five minutes, it is as if a mountain has been placed on his chest and heart. The diseases of the hearts, we seek refuge with Allah from them…

Because of this, if you want to test your heart, inspect it and test it out when the Qur’an is being recited – is it heavy upon your heart or not? Test your heart out during worship. Test your heart out when you see the salihin. Test your heart out when you are making your adhkar during the morning hours. Test your heart out when you stand up to pray – do you love to pray? Or is it heavy upon you? If it is heavy upon you, and if worship is heavy upon you, then ask Allah to remove the hardness from your heart and replace it with softness, because this is proof that the jahiliyyah is still entrenched in your heart and soul.

The hardness of the heart…we seek refuge with Allah from the hardness of the hearts. The hardness of the hearts is increased by satisfying the desires – sexual desires, even if by permissible means, and the desire for food, even if by permissible means.

This is why they say that the softness of the heart is achieved in six occasions:

* Praying at night
* Reciting the Qur’an
* Keeping the stomach empty from food
* Befriending the salihin
* Dhikr
* Istighfar during the morning hours

This is why if they felt that their hearts were becoming hard, they would say: “Lead us to those who will lead us to Allah,” and the best people are those who, when you see them, remind you of Allah…he whose condition and mannerisms remind you of Allah and whose words cause you to increase in your obedience to Allah, and when you see him you remember Allah.

I used to sometimes lead the people in prayer. So, some youth were behind me, as well as an old man who was over 90 and from the Caucasus, a Chechen. After the prayer was over – I love to recite the Qur’an, firstly because I am in prayer, and by Allah, it is too hard on me to only recite two or three verses – and I know that the people behind me of course do not like too much recitation of the Qur’an. Anyway, after I would finish, the youth would sometimes complain to each other, and I would overhear their complaints. However, this man who was over 90 years old would say: “Increase as much as you can from the Qur’an,” and he was over 90!

So, the issue is one of the soul. Once, one of al-Banna’s students prayed behind me in Ramadan. So, I used to recite one juz’ every night. After the prayer, he would ask: “How much did you recite?” I would reply: “A juz’.” He said: “Ya Salam! It went by as if it were a minute,” and in the prayer, you are not allowed to sit down. Regardless, this man was deriving enjoyment from the Qur’an! If he had spent the entire night like this, he would not become bored or exhausted. On the other hand you have a man who – subhan Allah – his heart is hard, so the Qur’an affects his heart by making him more exhausted, and it therefore is not softened by the Qur’an, and no matter how much Qur’an you recite to such a person, he will find it very heavy and hard upon him.

Because of this, from the blessings of Allah upon a person is that He makes faith beloved to him and beautifies it in his heart:

{“And know that, among you there is the Messenger of Allah. If he were to obey you in much of the matter, you would surely be in trouble. But, Allah has endeared faith to you and has beautified it in your hearts, and has made disbelief, wickedness and disobedience hateful to you. These! They are the rightly guided ones.”} [al-Hujurat; 7]

This is a blessing from Allah…with this, the person derives pleasure from this hardship and this roughness. Why? For Allah. He tastes its sweetness…the torture is sweetness when it is for Allah…exhaustion is beloved to his heart if it is for the Knower of the Unseen…

Someone once told me – a journalist, Jabir Rizq, he wrote a book – there is a book he gave to Muhammad Yusuf Hawwash, who was executed with Sayyid Qutb. This man had an amazing understand of Islam. He stayed in prison for ten years before they executed him. He was imprisoned from 1954 to 1964, and he was executed in 1966. They had released him for health reasons, and then they brought him back.

Jabir Rizq told me that whenever the torture became too much for him, this man would look to the sky and say: “All of this is nothing when it comes to Your love…all of this is nothing when it comes to Your love,” meaning that all of this torture is nothing when it is for the love of Allah.”

['Fi Dhilal Surat at-Tawbah'; p. 485-487]